Every Bond Film Reviewed in One Sentence

My partner is the biggest James Bond fan I have ever known in my entire life. He has seen all of the films (except for Die Another Day and the Daniel Craig era ones) probably about one hundred times each. He’s recently started another Bond marathon, and I somehow came up with the idea of reviewing/commenting on each and every Bond film in one sentence each. Is that even possible to accomplish? Here goes!

bond-cr67

Casino Royale (1967)
This film is ridiculously stupid and some may say it’s unwatchable, but I thought it was thoroughly amazing because given the constraints on the production and all the crazy shiz that went on behind the scenes, what has resulted is the weirdest and most subversive Bond film out of all of them.

bond-drno

Dr No (1962)
Not a lot of people like Dr No, but I do because the story is minimal enough for the action and new star Sean Connery to shine at their brightest.

From Russia With Love (1963)
Such a great Soviet-era Bond film, who doesn’t love Rosa Klebb?

bond-gold

Goldfinger (1964)
Probably the most famous Bond film with the most iconic scenes, I think I like this for watching the iconic moments rather than for the actual story.

Thunderball (1965)
I can never remember the storyline of this film so I’m going to review this as the most forgettable Bond film of them all.

You Only Live Twice (1967)
The most awkwardly racist of the Connery films with a an additionally awkward story, you can tell that Connery is totally over it; not a fan.

bond-ohmss

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)
Some think this film is a disaster but I love it, it has easily the most heartbreaking ending of all of them.

bond-daf

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Connery decided to return for one of my least favourite Bond films; hate the story, hate the Bond girl, pretty much hate most of it except for Charles Grey’s performance as Blofeld.

bond-lald

Live and Let Die (1973)
Roger Moore’s first Bond film is my favourite Bond film of all because it is unashamedly 70s.

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
Although I love this, I will admit that Christopher Lee’s performance as villain assassin Scaramanga is equal parts awesome and cheesy, and as a result it overshadows a lot of the film.

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
Good film, I especially love the setting of the ancient Egyptian ruins for Bond and his lady friend Anya Amasova’s fight with henchman Jaws.

bond-moon

Moonraker (1979)
My love for this silly film is no secret at all, I’ll never get over the double-taking pigeon and the fact that the film was basically made to cash in on the Star Wars franchise.

For Your Eyes Only (1981)
A story about revenge and the consequences of seeking it, this film has probably my favourite Bond girl and one of the more underrated stories of the whole series.

bond-nsna

Never Say Never Again (1983)
Technically not a canon Bond film as it isn’t made by EON Productions, Never Say Never Again brings Connery back for a lame remake of Thunderball that never needed to happen in the first place.

bond-octo

Octopussy (1983)
The Bond film name with the best innuendo of all, Octopussy is more campy fun with Roger Moore.

A View to a Kill (1985)
Moore’s last film as Bond is said to be one of the worst Bond films ever, but I really like it and Grace Jones is a definite highlight as statuesque Bond girl May Day, although it also contains the worst Bond girl of all time, supposed geologist Stacey Sutton.

bond-tlds

The Living Daylights (1987)
Love it, love the theme, love Timothy Dalton.

License to Kill (1989)
This story of revenge is pretty brutal, but there’s a hugely cheesy ending (hint: winking fish) that lightens up the whole thing with a bit of comic relief.

bond-ge

GoldenEye (1995)
My favourite of the Pierce Brosnan era, but definitely not anywhere near my favourite Bond film overall.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
I can never remember the plot of this one when I hear the title, and I like to think of it as “the one with Teri Hatcher” instead.

The World Is Not Enough (1999)
This is the Bond film with the cheesiest moment where Bond has to say the title of the film, Denise Richards is terrible, and I also don’t find this memorable at all; I always get it mixed up withΒ Tomorrow Never Dies and have to remember it as “the pipeline one”, or “the one where Denise Richards is terrible”.

Die Another Day (2002)
The worst Bond film out of all of them with poor performances, terrible CGI and the most ridiculously dumb plot.

bond-cr

Casino Royale (2006)
Easily my favourite of the Daniel Craig era so far, I love the performances by Mads Mikkelsen and Eva Green, a great way to reboot and reinvigorate the franchise.

Quantum of Solace (2008)
Really stupid plot, but solid performances.

Skyfall (2012)
Absolutely amazing cinematography that distracted me from everything else, although the film is very enjoyable.

43 comments

  1. Excellent post! Pretty much agree with you on it all too!

    1. Thanks heaps! Great minds think alike! πŸ˜‰

  2. Excellent post. What a great idea. Die another Day was dreadful. Denise Richards was gorgeous, but a dreadful choice for a scientist in The World is not Enough. I remember that Teri Hatcher really slapped him too. Has your bf’s love of the Bond series encouraged you to like them even more or were you a big fan before?

    1. Thanks heaps Alex! I’ve always liked the films but I remember as a kid I couldn’t tell half of them apart, although I really loved the Roger Moore ones. I think having a Bond marathon quite often with my partner and being around his Bond nerdiness has made me appreciate some of the films more, like On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, which I hadn’t even bothered with before.

      1. Any ideas who you would want as a future Bond?

        1. I’ve been thinking about this and I’m not too sure! People keep saying Idris Elba and I think he would make an amazing Bond, sad that he’ll never get cast though.

  3. I am not a James Bond fan, but I loved your post. I think reviewing these films in one sentence is brilliant.

    1. Thanks so much! πŸ˜€

  4. Anonymous · · Reply

    Great Post, Anna!
    Thunderball should have had a double-taking pigeon to make your life easier
    Cheers!

    1. Thanks! I actually think all films should have a double-taking pigeon, it would definitely make my life easier!

  5. Great little jaunt through the series. Had dun reading this. Skyfall is my fave of the bunch, btw. Denise Richards…ugh.

    1. I actually re-watched the Denise Richards one the other day and was stunned by how terrible she is! And that film probably has the worst ending out of all of the Bond films in terms of blatant innuendo. So bad.

  6. excellent idea Anna!

    perfect on just about all of them

    1. Thanks Rob! πŸ˜€

  7. So great. Agreed on pretty much everything, especially how good OHMSS and Timothy Dalton are!

    1. Great minds! πŸ˜‰

  8. Haha. Love to know where you stand with each Bond film. Clearly not a Brosnan fan, whereas he IS Bond for me (even if Dalton is the better performance, if that makes sense…)

    1. Yeah, I think it depends which Bond was the Bond of your childhood as to which one you think is the best of the best. For some reason I regularly watched the Moore films as a kid so I think that’s why I’m more forgiving of some of his cheesier Bond moments!

  9. I agree with Live and Let Die not just because of the time capsule feel of it, but because it was the first film I ever went to see in the theater without my parents (me and my best bud went). They didn’t care much about ratings back then, you had the money, you were in πŸ™‚

    1. I wish I could have seen this at the cinema when it first came out. Such a time capsule!

  10. I think many of us are in a Bond marathon phase right now. I started a series in February that I will be running throughout the year. I revisit and review every canon Bond movie from Dr. No to Skyfall (and SPECTRE too when it opens). It’s been a bit exhausting so far but also a ton of fun. I’m glad your thoughts mostly align with mine even though we completely disagree on a A View to a Killβ€”God, it’s horrible.

    1. Haha! The terribleness of A View To A Kill is part of the reason why I love it, it’s so shamelessly bad.

  11. I can watch a Bond flick anytime. I can’t apologize for “Dr No” being my favorite. They are all cheesy but they are movies I can’t help but watch. Sean Connery is the best and moved on to be the greatest in other movies!

    1. Oh yeah, Dr No is great, and Connery will always be a classic. I quite love Sean Connery even though he’s not my number one Bond!

  12. Really cool post, thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

    1. Thanks heaps Vinnie! πŸ˜€

    1. Thanks so much Vinnie! Made my day!

      1. I’m happy you accepted the award. I look forward to reading your acceptance post.

  13. Reblogged this on DeaconsDen and commented:
    A great post summarizing the Bond films. Had to share this one.

  14. Great points on all the films. Love your sentence for Dr. No which is my favorite Bond film. And love the Dalton appreciation.

    1. Thanks so much for the reblog! πŸ˜€

  15. Agree with all except ‘Live & Let Die’ – for some reason that one really gets on my nerves! Perhaps it’s the theme to it, and not the film itself? Great idea though. You plan on doing another one?

    1. I think a lot of people really hate the pseudo-blaxsploitation vibes of Live and Let Die, which is understandable. Some of the Moore films tended to buy into the pop culture of the time which some feel is just too cheesy and dated. I’m actually thinking about doing a post on my favourite Bond title sequences next, especially after watching Skyfall again!

  16. This is awesome! I’m gonna use it as my guide to James Bond, since so far, the only one I’ve seen is Skyfall (for shame! I agree) and I would love to see more.

    1. Thanks heaps Elina! πŸ˜€ I’m happy for this to act as a guide so that you can avoid monstrosities like Die Another Day!

  17. This is a great post. Like it a lot.

    1. I’m late in responding to your comment, but thank you, and I’m glad you enjoyed!

  18. Reblogged this on FILM GRIMOIRE and commented:

    Back in 2015, I attempted the mammoth task of reviewing every James Bond film (released at the time) in one sentence. Since my partner and I have just embarked on another Bond marathon (currently up to Live and Let Die), I thought I’d reblog this vintage Film Grimoire piece of work that I’m not half proud of! How would you review your favourite Bond film in one sentence?

  19. Novel idea on reviewing the Bond films. I came here from Film Grimoire’s reblog. I am a big Bond fan myself, currently reading the books. If you can get past the 50’s racism, misogyny and outrageous plots, then you should give them a read and do a one sentence summary of them! Although it would take you a lot longer to do haha πŸ™‚

    1. I actually read the books up to Thunderball, which I found a bit tedious and didn’t finish. But I intend to finish the Fleming books one day! πŸ˜€

  20. Excellent post πŸ˜€ I haven’t seen a lot of these sadly – and I would love to get through all of them. I must say the one I’ve loved the most was Casino Royale, and I am very sorry to say that I’ve seen Die Another Day – worst of the franchise by far!

    1. Thanks Natasha! πŸ˜€ Casino Royale is one of my favourites. Die Another Day, not so much!

What do you think? Leave a comment here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: