A Timely Blogathon: Commando (1985)

This newest review for A Timely Blogathon, hosted over here and at Movierob, comes from JW of Film & Nuance – whose blog I enjoy ever so much, and you should definitely check out. Rather than sussing out an indie masterpiece for this blogathon, JW chose to write about an action classic that is a masterpiece in its own right – Commando (1985)! Check out JW’s review below!

a timely blogathon 1

After reading Anna and Rob’s post about the timely blogathon, I decided to write in a review of my own ūüôā ¬†It’s a great idea that brings together the whole film community and I can’t wait to see all the reviews that have already been posted up. I haven’t seen many 90 minute films or less.¬†Beasts Of The Southern Wild¬†(93mins) is one of my all-time favourite films but I haven’t got round to writing it just because it’s such a complex and heart-wrenching film about many many things. And I already written one for Anomalisa (90mins) on my blog, which is a quirky, trippy,¬†Fregoli¬†¬†experience that’s more than I could ask for when¬†imagining an art-house animated film. But now is not the time for the fancy schmancy’s.

Out with the indie. And in with this…

commando gif

Yes. Commando might very well be a classic in my books as well. I thought of watching something fun and brainless recently. I searched the net for lists of ‘dumb and fun’ movies. I wanted the best…the cream of the crop…the creme de la creme…Anyhow, one thing seemed very clear. Commando was everywhere.Universally recognized. From the looks of it,this felt like an instant classic right away. Boy¬†was I in for some stupid fun.

I have a very different opinion when it comes to Arnie. To many, he’s an action-movie essential;Brawn,raw strength,instinct and badassery. He’s all rough and tough. But to me, he’s absolutely hilarious. And I mean that in a good way. Terminator is a revolutionary sci-fi action film? Not a chance in my books. I was laughing throughout the film I was literally in stitches. Something in his accent or his intense seriousness and his general lack of giving two damns about anything whatsoever has me losing it. All this coupled with a directing style that’s just so over-glorifying and cheesy, the film is so bad that it’s good. It’s funny how staple action-movie sequences that showed how much of a bad-ass Arnie was, is today the staple elements for parody and jokes. This movie is just ridiculous.

The plot is fairly simple. Arnie is a retired special forces soldier. Daughter gets kidnapped by villains who have ulterior motive. Arnie¬†goes after these baddies. There’s really nothing very interesting on paper. But amp up the cheesy one-liners, bring in the king of comedic timing and you have a winning combination. There’s quite alot of action going on which,let’s be honest,sideline the fact that Commando is actually a comedy film. But this film is nothing it seems to be. The amount of puns and wordplay is astoundingly high. Almost half the dialogue in the film is full of witty jokes and ripostes. More impressively, the characters seem to¬†manage to do whatever it is that they’re doing AND STILL have the mind to joke perpetually.

Cooke-“You scared motherfucker? Well you should be coz this green beret’s gonna kick your big ass.”

John-“I eat green beret’s for breakfast.”

Cindy-“I can’t believe this macho bullshit”

As the saying goes, the proof is in the pudding. I’m not going to spoil the fun for you. This is one of the most enjoyable films I’ve ever seen and not because it’s good but because it’s just mad,bad and crazy. I swear you just can’t box this film into anything!! It’s just too special, uniquely sitting in its own space that transcends all genres and opinion. I had a blast of a time. But of course, Arnie would say, “I eat time for breakfast.”

5 comments

  1. And spot a young Alyssa Milano in the movie. I could watch this and Predator every day of the week.

    1. Commando and Predator are both amazing! Such camp Arnie classics.

  2. Reblogged this on and commented:
    Check out the next post for A Timely Blogathon – This time we have JW of Film & Nuance with a review of Commando (1985). Tnx JW!

  3. […] JW of Film & Nuance reviewed Commando (1985) […]

  4. Paragraph Film Reviews · · Reply

    Any film where the lead SMELLS PEOPLE APPROACHING, PICKING UP PHONE BOOTHS, and EATING GREEN BERETS FOR BREAKFAST gets my vote. Put this on when I got back from a night out for about 2 years straight – absolutely love everything about this. Need to watch it again! :D:D:D

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